Cock Rock @ it's FINEST!
Imagine you're born in 81. All you get is a tease of the greatness of the 80s - the Glam, The Crotch, leather, bandannas and scarves on mic stands.Fast Forward. past drunken nights screaming Bon Jovi on the dance floor and Sweet Child of Mine in the shower. Welcome to Wednesday November 15th downtown, Toronto. 2006.
Our heroine - Gillian - mission - attend G 'N' R - goal - survive. So what do you do? you buy the hottest red pumps and you work it.
Recipie for success: exit cab @ ACC, pick up tix and complimentary "wanna fuck" passes [backstage], sneak camera into show, stock up on ridiculously over-priced booze and hit Row 2 side stage AKA best seats in the house! Courtesy of hot new keyboardist Dizzy. Don't forget the bathroom and bar [key ingredients] are a mere few feet behind you.
At some point in the evening you will encounter your own Almost Famous moments - in fact you're gonna star in your own version. It'll start when Dell [tour mgr] comes and escorts you backstage, through the underbelly of the touring machine - followed by a visit by mother nature on the G 'N' R tour bus and a perfectly chilled bottle of Jager. Skull it !
Be prepared for paparazzi upon returning to your seat - apparently just coming from backstage warrants some fame. Say Cheese! Now u rock out to Die Mannequin, are titillated by the Suicide Girls Burlesque and get revved when the operatic vox of Sebastian Bach belt out good ol' Skid Row. Throw in some Tralier Park Boys crashing Monkey Business and you got the beginning of one very fine evening!
and now the grand finale GUNS and ROSES - including braided dreadlocks from the man himself. They rocked hard, vocals pitch perfect [can Axle and pitch be used together?] and played till 1:30am. that's right folks - no lights - nothing, just joints bein passed and drunken frat boys being thrown out. You share a huge grin the with dude behind ya [thinks you're hot by the way ;) ]
- look out at the bikers, cougars, white trash, rebellious teens, slutty chicks and think to yourself - YEAH BABY I'm HOME!! So head bang your way to the end of the night cause it's After Party Time. [but first you have to break a bathroom door handle, get locked in and than jimmy your way out and than take the handle home with you - all in good fun of course]
After Party: Free food, Free booze - secret location, alley entrance EVERY FREAKIN BAND MEMBER SHOWS - photos but none of Axle - he's shy you know ; ) you laugh, have a drink, share a story and next thing you know it's 5am. The night has been surreal. It was ol' Skool rock at it's finest. Tits & Ass, booze, leather and late nites. It was perfect!
"BZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" What that F*ck - oh that's your alarm. It's 9am - time for work SUCKA!
disclaimer: SOME people thought this was a dream..so i'm not a good writer - whatevs. it fuckin happened.
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